There is a spider on your shoulder

Here's the most exciting thing that's happened to me in a week (besides moving and getting ready for school and training for my new job and watching a lot of TV)

Anyway.


I went to work, suspecting nothing.

I was three minutes early, because lately I'm just that kind of person.

I went to go do dishes like a good little employee

(actually easiest job because all you have to do is close the lid and let it wash the dishes for you)

I still suspected nothing.

Lily came around the corner. Looked at me, and calmly informed me:

What do I do?

She said it so calmly that it couldn't be true. 

Actually if she were trying to play a trick on me she wouldn't have said it so calmly. She would have acted scared.

What if it wasn't?? 

Curiosity got the better of me. I looked at my shoulder.

Now I know how completely irrational this fear is. 

I really have made great strides in conquering my fear of these tiny little things.

In fact, I can now actually kill my own spiders on a good day.

But today I just wasn't feelin it. Mostly because this spider was so close to my face.

So naturally, I froze.

I couldn't move.

But I REALLY wanted this spider to NOT be on my shoulder. And since I had no use of my limbs I did the only thing I could think of.

I screamed. 

I'm embarrassed but that is exactly what I did. 

But at least I didn't scream like a little girl. 

No.

I screamed like an adult woman in the forest with an axe-murderer. 

And it worked. Lily brushed the spider off my shoulder for me. 

And I didn't die.

But I gave my boss a migraine.

But I didn't die.

I kind of feel bad for the spider now that I think about it. I mean what if he really had no ill intentions? 

And instead I just screamed at him. 

How rude. 

He probably chose my shoulder because I looked like a reasonably nice blonde lady who would tell him what time it was. Instead I caused his death.

So... I overreacted.

Someday I hope to get to the point where I can look that spider in the eyes and calmly say: